I Sing The Blues And Swallow Them Too
by MEGGOSAURUS REX
Summary: He hated losing control. Control was the one thing he needed, no matter the cost. And yet this time, the cost was much more than he anticipated paying. [HaoxYoh] Yaoi, slight shounen ai. Twincest.


**I Sing The Blues And Swallow Them Too  
**- meggosaurus rex

Summary: He hated losing control; control was the one thing he needed, no matter the cost. And yet this time, the cost was much more than he anticipated paying. HaoxYoh, yaoi, slight shounen-ai. Twincest.

_Prologue: The Cost of Misery is at an All-Time High_

It was brilliant out. The mountain air surrounding Asakura Hao's distant home was moist with the humidity typical of summers in Japan, as the deep navy sky twinkled busily with thousands upon thousands of indescribably beautiful stars. It was more than Asakura Yoh was used to, and much more vibrant than he'd expected from Hao. Then again, he hadn't been expecting much in the first place out of this awkward invitation. He'd never been to see Hao before, never felt compelled to see him or that seeing him was entirely necessary. In fact, he really wasn't looking forward to seeing Hao, he often believed he possibly _hated _Hao. But he came, and this is how he was repaid.

Yoh shifted uncomfortably, watching the stars unmoving in the night sky. He loved to watch the stars, it reminded him of the Shaman Tournament... it reminded him of so many beautiful things, and so much despair at the same time.

It reminded him of the things he'd seen Hao do, and it made him hate the fact that he'd agreed to come see Hao. And yet, at the same time, it reminded him of the people in his life worth dying for, the things that he had yet to experience, the amount of _life _left inside of his small teenaged body, and it forced him to realize that he had chosen to come here to protect that. Because whenever Hao wanted something, he was more than willing to sacrifice the things Yoh found happiness in to make ends meet the way he intended them to.

"Enjoying the view?" a deep voice inquired, obviously amused. Yoh cringed. He hated the way his brother's voice sounded, so smooth and low, a bit huskier than his own, with a vivid sense of _control_. He really just hated the way that Hao always seemed to be in _control_.

After forcing the older boy to wait a moment, Yoh turned around and blinked his large, chestnut colored eyes, as if he were confused about something. "It's beautiful, isn't it, nii-san?"

Hao pursed his lips, the corners of his mouth twitching upward despite his annoyance. He hated when Yoh referred to him as if they were close, as if he wanted them to be brothers. Hao wasn't stupid. He knew Yoh hated the fact that they were related. He couldn't blame him, really; he'd spent his entire life hoping that he could somehow break Yoh's overbearing and certainly overzealous personality. It hadn't worked out quite according to plan, but the whole 'nii-san' thing was just a bit too fake for Hao to handle. "Yeah, it's really something, _otouto_. I adore the night air out here." He paused, happy to see Yoh slightly flinch upon being referred to in such an affectionate way. Continuing, Hao added, "I hope your trip here was comfortable to your liking. Opacho will show you inside momentarily, you have your own room as I'm sure you expected."

Yoh nodded. Unable to hold his tongue back, as usual, he quietly asked, "Why am I here, Hao? What do you want?"

Hao's lips curled into a wry smile. "You're so naïve, Yoh. I mean, I'm sure you're aware that the Shaman Tournament has already been rescheduled and set in motion," he said, watching the younger twin nod in annoyance, "and I'm _hoping_ that you've been preparing. I'm sure you know me well enough by now to realize that I've been preparing for weeks now. But I was thinking over my strategy a week or so ago, and there's just something – oh, I don't know – _missing_ from it."

"And that would be me?" the younger boy asked, confused.

With a small nod, Hao continued. "In a way, yes," he responded calmly, sounding unfazed. "There's something about you that, as we both know, got in the way during the last tournament, and I'm determined to make sure that it _does not _get in my way this time." Smiling even more sardonically than before, he added casually, "It wasn't your skill, after all, that defeated me on its own."

Yoh blinked again. "What do you mean?"

For the first time since they'd been reunited that evening, the older twin took a minute to examine his other half. He was a bit taller, and surprisingly (yet thrillingly, in Hao's opinion) _broader_ than he remembered. Biting his tongue to keep himself from inquiring, he mused that Yoh must have been preparing because his body shape was much more toned than before. In fact, it seemed as though Yoh had _grown up_. That silly uniform, the disgusting black and orange one, was gone – in its place, Yoh was wearing a white stretch polo shirt, unbuttoned to its full capacity, right around where his ribs started, with a black beater underneath. As for pants, the small shaman wore a pair of loose, low-rise sandblasted jeans that were obviously distressed and torn from wear, and due to their low nature, the boy's grey boxers peeked out ever so slightly. Just as Hao had expected, he still wore the same bear claw necklace and those same sandals as he had for what was probably his entire life. With a small, enticed grin, Hao noticed that Yoh had pierced his ear, two small silver hoops dangling from his left lobe.

As the older twin inspected the younger, the latter found himself studying the former. Although he'd always known Hao was a lot bigger and stronger than he was, it seemed as though he had finally matched his brother's height. He was, however, still as muscular as the day Yoh had met him – something which he greatly envied. In what way was it fair that Hao was entitled to more powerful shamanic powers as well as a more anatomically perfect body? Shrugging this thought off, Yoh was surprised to notice that it seemed as though Hao was trying to _fit in_. His choice in clothing was completely different – that odd cloak he had once worn was gone. Now, Hao was wearing a black tee-shirt with the sleeves turned up twice, coordinating perfectly with a pair of somewhat fitted "sun-bleached", worn-out jeans. Even more surprisingly, instead of those stupid looking pink contraptions he had traditionally worn on his feet, Hao had on brown thong sandals. His earrings, additionally, had been changed to small silver hoops – something which Yoh found surprising as he self-consciously touched his own silver hoops.

Hao licked his lips, a habit he'd formed early on in his life that he'd recently noticed made people extremely uncomfortable, something he tended to use to his advantage. Judging by the way Yoh immediately reached up and played with his silly earrings, Hao's intentions were right on the mark. "You look... different, _otouto_," he noted, voice laced with interest.

Yoh rubbed the back of his neck, yanking subconsciously on his small, pathetic excuse for a ponytail. "Yeah, Manta-kun tells me often that he thinks I'm a lot more different than I used to be. I don't see it. I'm just Yoh, I'm just trying to be me." Yoh mentally scolded himself for acting so odd in front of Hao, just rambling on about nothing. Of course Hao would say something like that, he was trying to break down his barriers and come off as a good person. Well, he wasn't. And Yoh could play that game, too. "You look different, too, Hao-sama. You've changed a lot."

The only thing that irritated Hao more than having Yoh call him _nii-san_ was being called _Hao-sama_. He was entertained, however, that Yoh understood Hao's mind games and even more amused that the pathetic boy was using his own tricks against him. "Hao-sama," the older twin echoed. "As if you _respected _me in that way. Ignoring that little attack, as clever and cute as it may have been, I suppose I have changed a bit since our last meeting. I tend to believe that you've changed more, though."

The smaller twin's face burnt red, embarrassed that the more domineering twin had figured him out so easily. "Nanto," he mumbled quietly. After a few moments, he added, "Hao-san? Before you said Opacho would be showing me to my room. I'm... I never agreed to stay here."

Hao's own amber eyes met Yoh's with a look of indignant amusement. "You may have never verbally arranged to stay here, otouto, but by showing up here – as naïve as that may have been – you certainly _agreed_ to stay." He watched the smaller boy squirm before continuing, "Oh, don't worry. Once I have what I need, once I know what it is about you that's been throwing me off so much, you're free to leave. I promise not to kill you or any of your stupid friends or anything, as long as you don't try to do the same to me."

"I'm not going to try to kill you," Yoh replied, blankly enough for Hao to trust in his words.

With a small smile, Hao replied, "No, I don't think you'd try to do something you know wouldn't end so nicely for those around you."

Yoh feebly forced the corners of his mouth up into a smile, not quite sure of what Hao was trying to say. This was bound to be interesting, for lack of better description. A few seconds later, the small and kind Opacho showed up, leading Yoh away to his lodgings. Yoh glanced back at his brother from over his shoulder, seeing the tall boy smile sardonically back at him as the miniature child before him listed off the rules of the Asakura residence. Well, the _other _Asakura's residency, at least. Yes, this certainly was bound to be an interesting stay.

Hao watched the thin boy stumble down the mountain path dumbly, musing that Yoh probably hadn't changed all that much. So what if he was a little thinner, a little more muscular? And maybe he could finally fill out a button-down polo, but that didn't mean he could fill out his tax return paperwork. He probably couldn't tell his left from his right. His lips curled sadistically. But, with a new physique comes a new level of stamina. Something he hoped to be able to use to his advantage. But how? How was he going to fucking figure out what was driving him crazy about Yoh? Shaking his head, he allowed the flames of his Spirit of Fire to engulf him, carrying him back to his house faster than Opacho had managed to bring Yoh.

X X X X X X X X X X X X

Yoh stared around the room. This certainly was different from his real home in Tokyo with Anna and the gang. Yoh winced. They were going to be _so mad at him _once they found out he'd agreed to come meet with Hao. Why had he agreed to come meet Hao, in the first place? The small boy sighed, looking around the room with a sense of defeat. He supposed it _had _been to prove something to himself; to prove that Hao was still human, that despite his hatred, he had more in common with humans than he thought. Maybe, if Yoh was lucky, he'd have been able to show Hao how wrong he was all the time. But, looking around at the heavily decorated room, he probably _wasn't _as wrong as Yoh thought.

It was beautiful, really; elegant, proper, and extremely grandiose. With a small smile, Yoh noted that it really reflected everything that was Hao. It was perfection. The goldenrod color scheme permeated every inch of the bedroom, the deep purple accents coordinating in seamless perfection. It was actually almost amusing. Who decorated their houses like this? Who was this to impress, really – Yoh, or Hao himself? True, this entire experience was breathtaking, but it was also way, _way _too pretentious for Yoh's liking.

"I'm really not _that _pretentious, and if you think all of this decoration is just to show off to _you_, then you're really much more naïve than I give you credit for being," Hao asserted, walking to stand next to his twin.

In surprise, Yoh turned to his brother, quickly noticing that Hao stood before him wrapped in a towel. Crimson spread across Yoh's face like wildfire, a cross between embarrassment and confusion. "H-Hao-san!" he mumbled, caught off-guard by Hao's sudden, half-naked appearance.

With a large smirk, Hao replied, "What's gotten into _you_, otouto? I hope my appearance has nothing to do with this, after all, isn't it just the same as yours?" His voice was low and soothing, something Yoh greatly resented due to its ability to calm him out of his senses.

"N-no, Hao-sama, just a lot has happened today. I'm just... just coping with the situation," Yoh quickly returned, quiet and hesitating. After a moment's pause, he added, "The room is really elegant. I like the color scheme. I wish Anna-chan would decorate _our _house in such a way."

Hao rolled his eyes, suppressing the desire to strike his insolent other half. "Don't lie to me," he drawled, looking down at his fingernails disinterestedly. "You know, I can hear your thoughts. You might want to keep that in mind, okay? You're not even safe in your own damn head here." He grinned as his brother's eyes opened as wide as saucers. "I'm not making it up, otouto. And I'm not wearing anything under this towel, no, I was _planning _on taking a goddamned bath but if that bothers you too much, I suppose..."

This was just too much to handle. He could _read minds_? Yoh was more than taken aback. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe he should have never agreed to come here.

"Maybe you shouldn't have." Hao moved closer to his brother. "You have no idea, _**still**_, what I'm capable of, do you?" he demanded sharply, eyeing his brother's small physique in a way that made Yoh wish he had on several winter jackets. Placing his hands on the smaller twin's hips, digging his thumbs into his extremely noticeable hip bones, he leaned down and whispered, "You just have _no_ idea, now do you?"

Hao's warm breath against his neck was enough to make Yoh's hair stand on end. It was an emotion he'd never really felt before; he didn't understand it, really, and he certainly didn't want to find out what it was now. Squirming anxiously, Yoh managed to stutter back, "S-Sumimasen, Hao-sama."

Yoh flinched as Hao hissed back, "Oh, don't be _sorry_, otouto, just prepare yourself. You're in for a rough ride." Hao leaned in and kissed his twin's neck, sucking softly at the boy's skin before biting him playfully. Keeping his hands on Yoh's hips, he pushed him back slightly, grinning at his identical match. This was going to be way too much fun.

Eyes wide, Yoh attempted to absorb all that had just happened to him. What the _hell _had he gotten himself into?


End file.
